True Resolve

I love  resolutions, new fad diets, cleanses, cleanings, purging and renewed purpose.  I love the fact that you can wake up on a crisp January Morning and start  life all over again with new drive and fury.  I empathize deeply with posts on my F.B. page of a lover scorn and now a deep fire burning in the postie to never be burned again, the drive to get skinny change perception and find a new and improved person all the while convincing self and us that there is no need for a new man.   Sign me up for that beauty cream that will make me look younger or the 1000 squat challenge.  YES I can do the Dr. OZ Juice Fast for three days, give me a new journal and I will rewrite my entire story.  I have the gumption the elbow grease and I certainly know where my bootstraps are and how to pull them up, but all of this is useless nonsense when the God of The Universe enters my story.

There is an ancient tale of a fellow that loved resoluteness too, he loved schemes and plans and treasure and his mom, he told a lie to his father to get a blessing and ended up tangling with the Lord.   But here’s the thing about wrestling with God no matter how much youcandoitness you feel like you have, You can do nothing without Him and tapping out is not an option and you better believe you’ll be walking with a limp.  I giggle a little when I see on social media the plans of man.  I chuckle when I get all revved up to go take on the day and fight my own battles, because deep down in me, I know I can do nothing without Christ, and I learned this LIFE CHALLENGING & CHANGING TRUTH through TRAGEDY.  Just like Jacob I cried out “oh yeah God you want a piece of Me, Well you’re gonna have to bless me then…Or I will never let you go.”

Stop Lord it hurts!  Please God don’t take me there!  Gracious Father you can not take my child!  Heavenly King if your taking him you’re gonna have to take me too!  Lord I have prayed for this child for his safety for his spirit for his legacy why, why, why?  My heart knows all the pleading in the world can not change the will of God or His purpose for my life or my children’s and when God allowed my  18-year-old only son, six-foot four, handsome apple of my eye to be hit by a car and go on to glory without me in fact while I was sleeping in my bed, you better believe I know I have been invited into a wrestling match with God. So here I am holding on to him exclaiming bless me God and break my sinew.  Learning daily my need to fall down, to be broken, to claim victory in my own weakness, for that’s the place I see His strength.  Learning daily to take my eyes off the world put them on Christ and to not rely on my own understanding.  The world and all it has will try to convince me everyday to ,”Just Do It”, “Change My Destiny” , “Captain My Own Ship” and I daily to the world I will say, ” His Grace is sufficient for me”, “My power is made perfect in weakness” and,” In everything I will give thanks for this is God’s will for me in Christ Jesus.”