Descriptions of grief experiences come at you like the waves of the ocean when you experience loss. Every man is a story teller who needs to be heard. Our grief stories stick to our bones, rattle our Ebenezer stones and forever make us empathetic to fellow story tellers who have suffered like us. In great empathy we bring forth offerings of our own tragedies and redemption’s to present to the sufferer, in hopes of alleviating pain, lightening the load or just weeping communal tears. This is evidence manifest in our flesh of an Empathetic Creator.
I have heard grief described in so many different ways over these past two years, the loss of a limb, a constant ache, being in a fog, total disbelief, ANGER and also a moment in time where all time is now measured by. I like that last one because it rings so true in my soul, but grief to me feels like being moved and washed over and sometimes carried along by the waves of the ocean. Charles H. Spurgeon wrote, I have learned to kiss the waves that throw me up against the Rock of Ages. The wave after wave of painful sufferings, dark lonely nights, doubting the purpose of existence and inside weeping from a broken soul can definitely slam us against the rocks and leave us disoriented and confused. But our hope lies in kissing the wave that may have been meant to destroy us and clinging to the rock that was sent to save us.
Being a sojourner in the sea of grief and maintaining a clear mind means we must keep our eyes on the horizon of hope. What is that hope? That hope is purpose “and we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Just as if we were literally in the ocean we would look to the horizon to give us direction the eyes of our understanding must be focused on God working even this horrible tragedy out for our own good and His Own Glory.
We must learn to Kiss the wave but Kick the current, our minds survival on the sea of grief depends on us accepting the waves and letting them wash over us, maybe this means really shedding tears, wherever you are and not caring. Maybe this means being angry with God and expressing yourself in honest prayer, “why are you downcast oh my soul”, “I am worn out by grief; every night my bed is damp with from weeping; my pillow is soaked with tears.” Maybe it looks like days of not doing much so that you can give yourself rest. Maybe its pulling out all those beautiful photos of your once happy family and just…remembering. For me it meant quitting a job working with people I loved and coming home to write my story.
The waves will ebb and flow and while we let them throw us upon the Rock we cannot let them pull us under. We must kick the current because we could drown in grief if we did not! How then do we stay afloat on the ocean? We kiss the wave, ( we accept the present suffering) . We Embrace The Rock (Father God who is in complete control of EVERY situation even our tragedies and failures).
Do you have cancer? Kiss the wave Cling to the Rock!
Did you deliver a baby with no beating heart? Kiss the wave Embrace the Rock!
Did the one you love break your heart and share his bed? Kiss the wave and hold on with gritted teeth to the Rock!
Did someone harm your child? Oh dear heart can I be bold enough to say kiss the wave and be thrown upon the Rock!
Have your children denied their faith? Kiss the wave, Kick the current, Keep on hanging on to the Rock.
“Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. Psalm 19:14